seat

So tonight, I went to the Palace of Fine Arts and watched Henry Rollins. He was a front man for Black Flag and the Rollins Band. I didn't go to see a concert however. I went to see a spoken word show. I've never heard more than a couple of minutes of Henry's music, but I think I have every spoken word album he's put out and I've been to 3-4 of his spoken word performances. This one at the Palace of Fine Arts was as funny, insightful and thought-provoking as usual but that's not what this blog-post is about.

As I took my seat in the venue I noticed more than one couple coming in. That wasn't the thing, I always notice couples. I think it's what happens because I'm not in a relationship. The one time I was in a relationship and the many times I was in pseudo-relationships I don't think I noticed any couples at all. However, today I noticed more than ever. As I sat and the auditorium started to fill up, I noticed that all the seats were sold in pairs. I sat there wondering what single would be seated next to me. Well it ended up staying vacant. What’s that you say? More room to spread out? No elbows to knock against? Yeah well there IS that. But, all I could think of was how I didn’t have anyone in my life and how it’s been years since I’ve had a warm soul to cuddle up to, even one that wasn’t truly mine. That empty seat was taunting me.

Maybe it’s all in my head but it is tough sometimes. I like my life. I enjoy my job. I wish I was making more money but you can’t have it all. But there are many times when I wish I had someone to share it with. A pair of eyes to gaze into. An ear to listen to my words. A set of ribs to dig my elbows into and share a laugh with. A pair of lips to softly kiss. A torso to hug tightly. A pair of arms to hold me, as well. A soul to share my life.